Sweet Independence!

I should be waiting until tomorrow to write this but I just can't!! One year ago today, my husband was travelling from Maine to Nicaragua to start the "in country" process of adopting of sweet 4! 

What a year!! 

From this:

To this: 

To this: 

To this: 

We started our paperwork and contacted a Nicaraguan Lawyer in late April 2012. We were matched with our sweet 4 in early May and sent our letter of intent to adopt them on May 14th. In the middle of June, the orphanage they were living in was closed and our lawyer called and told us that social services wanted us in Nicaragua immediately! We scrambled and my husband left for Nicaragua on July 3rd, meeting the kids as their "Papa" on July 4th! 

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!! On July 4th, 2012 our sweet 4 were NO LONGER ORPHANS!

I stayed home to finish our paperwork and joined him with 2 of our 3 teenagers (1 is in college) in the middle of August. We came home as a family to the United States in the middle of January! It was 9 months from deciding to adopt to stepping into our home as a family. It was basically a pregnancy term!! There were so many "delays" along the way which is crazy when you think of how painstaking they felt but how short the process actually was!! 

So, tomorrow is our "Independence Day" celebration in more ways than one!! What an exciting year it has been!!

We are so THANKFUL to GOD for ALL HE HAS DONE!!

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

~Isaiah 58:6-9

God is faithful and His words are true!! He has met every need, He has brought us through each trial, He has taught us many lessons! 

I have learned in a deeper way that God is in control and I wait for Him alone. I wait for no human be it lawyer or judge or government. I wait for God alone. When He moves, what He wills takes place! We have learned more securely that He alone is the Healer, the Provider, the mover of Hearts. 

God is good!! I can't wait to see what the future holds!! Happy Independence!! 

Where's the Money Comin' From?

                                                        (Nicaraguan Cordoba)

"Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord." ~2 Corinthians 10:17


The last couple of days I have been thinking about the timing of this adoption in our family. There's a pretty big part of me that wishes we could have brought our kids home while our oldest son, Tyler, was still in High School. Then he could have experienced ALL of it with us, including our extended stay in Nicaragua (though we are planning on him coming down for a week when he can, Lord willing). 


However, I got to thinking and realizing that financially, this was the best time. I've written before about God's provision of Tyler's first year of college tuition. It wasn't there, then it was... From zero, to prayer, to there, and all within a few short months! Then in the spring, since there is no cafeteria and he was staying in N.C. for the summer, we really thought he needed a vehicle. Again, we prayed and he prayed. To make a long story short, God called an amazing family to GIVE him a vehicle. 


IF God had called us to adopt BEFORE Tyler went to college, I think it would have been harder to see where the college money would come from. I don't know if I would have had that kind of FAITH. I hope I would have, but I see God's wisdom in this timing. 


Seeing what God did over Tyler's first year of college to provide, when God told us to take on this adoption it was easier to see and believe that God would again shock us with provision. There was no time to fund raise; the adoption process came on like a whirlwind! But God stretched money and also provided, and stretched money and provided all last year. I believe He will do it again as this time we will stretch farther!


"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 4:19


The challenge for us is to see that God provided for today, for this week and to trust Him as we move through our adoption day by day, expense by expense. If you know us well enough to be able to peek into our lives, you might have wondered how in the world we are able to do all this. Rest assured!! We are NOT ABLE! But GOD is ABLE!


I hope this is an encouragement to someone today! If God is asking you to do something you can trust that He will provide! He may ask you to sacrifice other things, like a pretty kitchen or a newer car, but the adventure of obeying Him far outweighs those temporal "things" we tend to think we need. 


"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act." Psalm 37:5


Funny side note... Robin is learning all about the ATM machines in Nicaragua. First he tried to take out several hundred dollars (we have to pay our expenses down there in cash so you take out and then pay immediately so you are not carrying all this money around!). The ATM machine he went to didn't have enough money in it! So he had to be satisfied with $200 U.S. dollars. A couple of days later he was able to try a second machine in a different location and tried to take out $300. It gave it to him in CORDOBA's !!! So, $300 Cordoba's was $12.85 in U.S. dollars!! We had a good laugh about it on the phone last night! It's an adventure every time!! :) 

Not My Plan

                                  ("Papa" at our kids' Protection Center in Nicaragua!)

Today's blog post is one I will come back to again and again as a reminder to myself of Who's path I am walking and why I am walking it. 


God planted this dream of adoption in my heart and in my husband's heart. Once planted, it became something I desired and badly. I begged God to open this door. And He did. 


Immediately I had to be careful not to let the dream become more important than following God. Once the path opened I wanted to run down it and was tempted to leave my Good Shepherd behind if necessary. 


Over and over I have to remind myself that my greatest desire is to obey God and walk the path that HE wants me to walk. He is the Shepherd and I am the sheep. He leads, I follow. Wandering is dangerous and destructive. The Shepherd is in charge. 


When my desire to adopt the 4 children (that are already mine in my heart) becomes my first goal in life, then fear and worry and stress takes hold. Every day and moments through out the day, I have to re-center my heart and remember that my goal in life is to glorify my God and to follow Him. The sheep must only keep in mind to follow the Shepherd. 


"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me." John 10:27



Every day I have to say, "I will follow my Shepherd today." I know that He will lead me and my husband and family. I have learned that lesson already. I just have to follow. The Shepherd does not need to have a long conversation with His sheep every day and tell them every path that is on the itinerary. He only needs to go and His sheep follow. He calls and the sheep follows His familiar voice. 


I am tempted to take on the burden of the Shepherd and figure the whole process out. Then I make a plan and try to work my plan. And the obstacles, which are bigger than my abilities, pop up. And I get so very stressed and worried, and angry, and emotional. I was not designed to be in charge; I was designed to follow. 


My goal is not to get a judicial court that is in a country I don't understand with a language I can't speak to let me adopt 4 children. My goal is to follow my Shepherd. He will bring about HIS goals, HE has a plan and HE will work HIS plan. I will stand BEHIND Him. He will be the Shepherd and I will be the Sheep. It is IN THAT PLACE that I find peace and comfort and assurance. 


I don't know when my final paperwork will arrive from the U.S. government. Therefore I can't even book my flight to go. I don't know how much money this will require in the end. I don't know when I will get to bring these kids home. Every time I think I know something, it changes. Every plan I make becomes wasted busy work. It is abundantly clear that I am not in charge. And this is a BLESSING. God is in charge. 


"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever." 

~Psalm 23

Obstacles

When people ask me for an update on our adoption, I've found myself saying, "Every day is a new obstacle." And it's true. Let me say this as an *aside*. I want to paint as true a picture of  our adoption as possible. Hopefully this does not come off as negative. I want to show it in as true a form as I can. Romanticizing it does not help others to count the cost which is very healthy thing to do before embarking on a journey. The obstacles are real and they are big. But what I hope will shine brighter in my story still unfolding is that God is always bigger still! GOD makes the obstacles a beautiful experience. If my family could do this on their own, it would not be a faith builder at all. Seeing God do it? How much greater is that! And it's amazing and beautiful...


My husband (in Nicaragua now) and I (in the U.S.) have a nightly talk. We talk over our day, we talk of what needs to happen, we seek to encourage one another (both living in the land of "hard" but each having a different "hard"). On Monday I was discouraged and Robin was giving me encouragement and reminding me that God had called us and He would bring us through the current obstacles (and future ones). Robin encouraged me to keep walking, focusing on just putting one foot in front of the other. Last night it was my turn to encourage and remind him that God is working and that He knows the best way and we just have to trust. 

"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:12

Yesterday, two of our "no's" turned into "yes" and one "yes" turned into a "no", and another request is a "wait and see".  Yes, we can translate documents in Nicaragua as long as we use a translator on the government's approved list (for a half or even third of the cost of doing them here). Yes, I can authenticate the translations I had done in Maine as one document ($60 instead of $1000, a pretty big "yes" by any standard!). No, my husband cannot have his finger prints done at the U.S. Embassy in Managua which means a round trip flight to Houston (down and back within the day is the goal). The "wait and see" concerns a letter from the gov't of Nica to use so that airlines will allow us to book one way flights into the country since we don't have a "return date."  These examples just give you a taste of the "behind the scenes" of each day. (I know I haven't said anything about our 4 sweeties here. That's a whole 'nother post. I'll just add that *family* is being built day by day. Today I get to skype with them. *smile*)

I am doing a Bible Study on the book of Nehemiah by Kelly Minter with a friend. I am learning SO.MUCH. And I am only in chapter 5 of Neh!! Nehemiah was called by God to oversee the rebuilding of the wall around Jerusalem. Oh, what obstacles he faced!!! But he kept the work going. He dealt with obstacles as they arose through calling on God, remembering God's promises, and wise decisions. One by one, as they came up, he dealt with them and kept building. 

God really called me to adopt through Isaiah 58:6-12 (I say "me", because my husband had his own journey to discovering God's will on this matter). There were other passages but this was the big one. Verse 12 says: "you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings." I asked God if I could be that "repairer" and "restorer." So you can only imagine what lessons I am learning through Nehemiah!

The biggest lesson? Just keep building, just keep building... The obstacles will come. Then it's on my face before God that I have to go. And I just keep building, keep walking, keep stepping forward. The favor I need is not from any man but from God!

"And because the gracious hand of my God was upon me, the king granted my requests." Nehemiah 2:8

Day by day we fight fear, remembering that God's perfect love casts out fear. We just keep walking though the big picture is bigger than we are and way bigger than our resources. We know our God, who is THE GOD Yahweh, is bigger still. We know the end goal but not how to get there. But we trust our Good Shepherd who always leads his sheep through every dark path. And like Nehemiah, we just keep building. 

Memorial Stones~WHATEVER!

I enjoy recording my "Memorial Stones on Monday". I don't do that every Monday. *Every* is the best way to sabotage myself! ;) Anyway, I've been thinking about what memorial stones I'll want to set up after this year as a new year stretches before me. None of us really know what this year will bring, do we? But we do know that our God is faithful!


Over the weekend God did a work in my heart. I was reminded of the things I have said NO to. I won't list them all here as some affect others. But you could imagine some I am sure. My heart was pierced. How could I say "no"? It's one thing not to feel called by God to do something but "never" is a horrible word! 


So I said "WHATEVER". Whatever can be a beautiful word. "Whatever" you want me to do, God, lead me there and I will do it. And I said, "whenever" and "where ever." It was really a frightening, yet sweet release. It's JOYful!


Which leads me wondering... What will that mean as I look back on 2012? It's scary and exciting! My year, my life is now truly open. I pray I never close it up again! I am anticipating moments with God and for God that are going to require memorial stones as I watch God work and join Him in His work.


"So Joshua called together the twelve men he had appointed from the Israelites, one from each tribe, and said to them, “Go over before the ark of the LORD your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.” 

~Joshua 4:4-7

Rich or Poor?

Filled to overflowing! 

When I take pictures, I do a little staging. My kids know that before they can open their birthday presents, I want to make sure the room where the opening is happening is clean and tidy. When I take pictures in the kitchen the holes in my linoleum floor won't show nor will the missing grout in the counter tiles, nor in the bathroom the scratches on the toilet porcelain (not that I take pictures of my toilet mind you). I'm keeping out the peeling on the side of my kitchen cabinets and the rust on my radiators. I've mentioned before that my daughter LOVES to photograph flaws. She finds them quite artsy and edits them in all sorts of ways. There are a couple of reasons I avoid such pictures. One is they don't represent what I want to show. But even more than that, if they are in the photo, THAT'S ALL I'LL SEE! To me they symbolize 1) work 2) money and 3) the feeling of "never getting it right." 

Last night I had a big group of Youth and Youth Leaders at my house. I received some sweet comments about my house that balanced out my vision a bit. It reminded me that I tend to focus on the flaws in the house. It reminded me that rich/poor is relative. To one person you are rich, to another you are poor. The person with a huge house thinks mine small, the person in a smaller house things mine big. 


I can remember our first apartment when we got married. It was in a horrible, horrible spot in Portland. We were told our neighborhood had the highest concentration of people and of crime in the state of Maine. The apartment was tiny, tiny, tiny and not in good shape at all. Boy was I convicted of pride when some friends who had to live at the YMCA came to visit. They wanted to know how in the world we were able to get such a nice place! This is a lesson I have learned and relearned and relearned again over the years!

Riches and poverty, much and want, are all relative terms. They are birthed in *comparisions*.  I pray to a mighty God who owns the cattle on a thousands hills and he meets my needs. However, if I am always looking at the flaws and what I DON'T have then my view is the problem, not what I don't or do have. 

This is one reason I do my "Thankful Thursday" posts. It helps me review my week and focus on the blessings. Often, when I go to bed, I'll think of potential blessings for the next day. I'll often say to my husband, "Tomorrow I'm going to wake up and have a really good cuppa coffee!" It's my way of saying, "Tomorrow's gonna start GOOD." 

But, you see, I still have a ways to go. I need to balance hard work and keeping up with what needs to be done with contentment in what has been done and what is in the scope of *possible*.  And I need to always pray for what we need, but be content with what God has decided we need. 

“Two things I ask of you, LORD; 

do not refuse me before I die: 

Keep falsehood and lies far from me; 

give me neither poverty nor riches, 

but give me only my daily bread. 

Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you 

and say, ‘Who is the LORD?’ 

Or I may become poor and steal, 

and so dishonor the name of my God."

Proverbs 30:7-9

When MY Holiday Plans are not His Holiday Plans

I remember like it was yesterday my first Christmas as a wife and mom without my parents or my husband's parents nearby. I had gotten used to not having the holidays with my sisters or my husband's siblings. But this last hurdle was a tough one. I felt so utterly alone and little. 


I was teary and really kind of mopey. It was Christmas Eve and there was plenty of snow outside. The kids and my husband seemed excited. I was just not *with it.* It seemed success was going to be measured by my ability to get through the day and the next without anyone seeing me cry. No reason to ruin everyone's Christmas.


My husband bundled up the kids and took them outside to play. I took a moment to pray and try to gather myself. Then it hit me. I'm a grownup (yeah that one should have occurred to me earlier- *wink*). It was my turn. My parents made Christmas special to me each and every year. They, I am sure, put aside their own pleasure in many cases to bless their children. They shopped, cleaned, cooked, prepared,  and cleaned some more. All without complaint, all with a smile, all making it look like they were having a grand time. Selfless service...


Now it was my turn to serve. I gathered up my new resolve and got to work. Candles were lit, water was boiled for cocoa, and I put together cookie batter and got cooking. My husband and kids came in, cold and snowy and red cheeked. I cleaned up their snow path, got wet clothes in the dryer. My husband commented that our house was like a scene from "Anne of Avonlea". :) SCORE!


I took a maturity step that day and in the end had one of the best Christmas Days to date. I found joy that day. Joy in serving and not being served. 


We've had holidays with extended family, holidays without extended family, holidays with friends and alone, holidays in plenty and holidays with barely any money for gifts. In each one, God brings us the joy of being together (our little family of 5) and enjoying that time and praising God together.


"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Phil. 4:11-14

This year, my college son cannot come home for Thanksgiving. Yes, I mourn it. But I have learned over the years through trial that it's okay to cry when I need to and then to wipe my tears, pray for God to help me find joy, and then make it my aim to count my blessings.


I've given some thought to what it would feel like to be alone on a holiday...as in completely alone...


I hope my heart would testify that Jesus is enough. I hope I would have a heart open wide to what He is trying to teach me through it. I hope I would count my blessings. I hope I would find joy amidst the trial. 


"My heart is not proud, LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
But I have calmed and quieted myself,
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content.
Israel, put your hope in the LORD
both now and forevermore. "

Psalm 131

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

James 1:2-4

Memorial Stone-MONEY and College Tuition

To a good deal of the world, I am "a rich American." To many in my immediate area, not so much. You won't seeing me buying ocean front property any time soon, and by American standards there are certain rooms in my house that could use a good demo and total makeover. Money is relative isn't it? One man's poverty is another man's riches. One man's riches is another man's poverty.


My husband and I have tried hard to be wise with our money. I could list our failures with money but honestly, the list is too long. We are a one income family. We believe God has called me to stay home and focus on raising the kids and keeping the home. I am happy to get to do that. (No, I am not bored. On the contrary, I often feel I am sprinting through the day always with a nice long "to-do" list. )


In about January of this year my oldest son came to me and asked if we had a college fund set up for him. That was a tough conversation because it was January of his senior year and we did not have a college fund set up for him. There just was never "extra". 


What did I do next? I prayed. I asked. I was specific. I asked God to provide the tuition money for the college he wanted our son to go to. I prayed it would be debt free. I prayed my son wouldn't have to get a job but could focus on school. I asked expecting a reply. I didn't know if it would be a "yes" or a "no." I knew if God wanted my son to attend college he would provide but I didn't know how. It may be a totally different way than the one I was praying for. Maybe my son would have to get a job. Maybe we would have to make payments. I also told God that any money from that moment on above our normal paycheck would go to college tuition (My husband in agreement of course! and we agreed to tithe it first). 


I didn't ask my son to choose a college we could afford. I asked him to list what he wanted in a college. I asked him to pray and seek out colleges and narrow down his search to the ones that had the best chances of giving him what he wanted. (We did have the boundary that if he left the area, it had to be a Christian school. If he attended a secular school we wanted him to live at home.) 


Once he got his short list I asked him to walk towards them and see what God would do. We asked around. We planned visits and appointments. 


What happened next blew my mind. Within 3 months of that "college fund discussion" God gave us a bigger lump of money than we had ever had at one time. It went into an account for college. It wasn't enough for the bigger colleges, might be enough for the smaller one. But we didn't make a big deal about the particular amount because who knew what else God might do, but just kept walking forward (all the while praising God!!). 


He visited the last of the 3 colleges on the list. He and his dad met with an administrator who gave them a ballpark figure to work toward for tuition, books, and food. One year was the EXACT amount God gave us!! At the moment I thought, "God, I bet that's the one You chose" but I kept quiet (well my husband and I talked but I kept quiet to my son)...


My son came home and after all visits told us the 3rd option seemed like the one for him. It was a very friendly place. The people were outgoing. It was Christ centered with a missional emphasis. He loved the area, the *feel* of it while he was there. I questioned and questioned him, but he truly believed this was where God wanted him. Blissful confirmation...


And he's there, and he loves it. God provided. Hallelujah!!


We'll take it year by year through prayer. I share this story for a few reasons (besides it being a memorial stone for me on God's provision and his direct leading of my child). You know, sometimes we don't do things the way the experts tell us to do them. But God is not bound by experts. We're trying. God has a plan. He has lessons to teach us. Next year he might have a different lesson to teach us. Sometimes he teaches us to work through a problem slowly, working hard and seeing what can be done that way. Other times he wants to show us that nothing is too difficult for him and he just drops the solution on us. Sometimes we get it all wrong and do it all wrong, yet his mercy and grace provides anyway. 


The point is, God is in control. For the willing soul, his plan will not be thwarted. He has my son right where he wanted him. He provided for him to be there. He agreed that my son should not work this year. 


We are grateful!!  Our lives are in his hands to do with as he wishes. Never give up. Always ask him, always seek him. Free fall into his mighty, capable hands. You'll not ever regret it.


"If we are faithless, he remains faithful for he cannot deny himself." 2 Timothy 2:13


"Hear, O my people, and I will speak, O Israel, and I will testify
against you: I am God, your God, I do not rebuke you for your sacrifices or your burnt offerings, which are ever before me. I have no need of a bull from your stall or of goats from your pens, for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills. I know every bird in the mountains, and the creatures of the field are mine. If I were hungry I would not tell you, for the world is mine, and all that is in it. Do I eat the flesh of bulls or drink the blood of goats? Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the Most High, and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.” Psalm 50:7-15

New Month, New Week, New Day!!

I'm all about newness and today I get 3 "new-s"...it's a new month, a new week, and a new day! It's fresh, clean and open for new habits, patterns, and chances! With my Savior, Jesus, every moment can be new! GRACE!!!


Doesn't it seem that summer is flying by? NEXT WEEK we bring our firstborn to college! Then there'll be 3 weeks left for me to get us all ready for homeschooling...lesson plans, paper, notebooks, etc., etc.!


This week my focus is making lists upon lists of things to buy and pack and buy when we get there for my college student. Meals will be kept simple and I'll try to use up what is in the frig and freezer (thanks to one year when my frig broke while I was gone). 


I am thankful for the busyness to take my mind off the gravity of letting my bird use his wings to fly away. As soon as that kid learned to walk I knew this day would come...actually I guess the trouble REALLY began when the doctor cut the umbilical cord!! ;) I am trusting that God will get us all through this big transition and we'll find joy in it. I am truly thankful for the front row seat I'll get, and I'll watch God work in and through my son with great expectation! And in the short term, I'll count down the days till October break! ;) 


God is so good and He astounds me with the way He sets the perfect rhythm to my life and schedule. Little things like how my mom was visiting her sister when I needed to attend a important meeting at church. I didn't have to feel I was deserting her to attend. Bigger things like bringing together all the details to graduate my first homeschooler and choose a college. Small joys like him getting to participate in an Allstar Soccer game the week before he leaves. God is trustworthy, whether I always notice it or not. His steady presence brings grace and mercy and shepherding.


"All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Thankful Thursday 7/21/11~Collecting Memorial Stones

My confidence rests in God and God alone. I trust in the Lord with all my heart. I do.


Yesterday I woke up at 4:30 a.m. with a sense of worry and fear. By 5 I realized sleep was a useless pursuit and I got up. Images of all that could go wrong as my son goes to college this fall ran through my head. Some things I thought about were realistic, some a little far fetched. 


"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7


Yesterday I spent time on my deck just reading my Bible and praying and then just breathing and listening to birds sing. I call it "deck therapy!!"

Today I am purposely recalling the Lord's faithfulness to me as a mother and to my son. I am remembering Alice, who when I was pregnant said to me, "Put that child in God's hands now and keep him there and life will go much better for you!" The fact is, my son has put HIMSELF in God's hands and he is there whether I recognize it or not (praise God)! And it is my CHOICE whether I dwell in the peace of that or not! Sometimes CHOOSING where to dwell is a lot more work than other times!!


I am thankful for:


282. A safe and uneventful pregnancy with my firstborn and a healthy delivery.


283. That time when he found a dead mouse intact and brought it to me that he didn't catch a disease! EW!


284. All the times he was sick and got better, all the times he was injured and healed well.


285. All the times he was out of my sight and came home safe. 


286. All the times he was put in the hands of another and was unharmed.


287. All the baseball games, basketball games, and soccer games that he was kept safe in.


288. That time when he jumped in the air in a soccer game and someone clipped his feet and he landed on his head and the sports trainer ran to the field thinking he wouldn't be able to walk but he got up...and had a concussion...but he got better.


289. All the endless car rides without incident, the airplane flights without crashing.


290. All the people God put in his life to love on him, to encourage him, to help him in his growing faith.


291. All the people God moved to pray for him over the years.


292. Last summer when we put him on a plane alone to the Detroit airport and a stranger picked him up and strangers had them stay in their home and strangers took care of him and he ministered with strangers and he came home safe and with great memories of great people who had become friends. How God helped him maneuver a big, confusing airport alone.


293. For cell phones that keep me connected to where he is and when he needs help.


294. For giving him a level head to make decisions.


295. For providing for him to go to college.


296. For confirming to him and us which college he should attend.


297. For  an older couple we know who lives near the college.


298. That we can go down to N.C. as a family and all see where he will live.


299. For school breaks about every 6 weeks so we can see him.


300. For email and Facebook that can help stay in touch with him (or show me he's alive *wink*). 


301. That God brought him this far and will continue to lead and shepherd him.


302. That God never slumbers or sleeps.


“He hath never failed thee yet.
Never will His love forget.
O fret not thyself nor let
Thy heart be troubled,
Neither let it be afraid.”

— Amy Carmichael

Keeping it Simple

I like to keep life simple. I don't like to be off in 15 different directions. I need focus. It's hard to focus if life is rushing all around me. I need space to think...

 Looking back on my childhood, I often struggled with what I perceived as a life going too fast. Going to school everyday with its chaos left me overwhelmed. Yeah, I realize that makes me seem pretty wimpy. I can accept that... :) 

I am thankful to have gotten to be a stay-at-home wife and mom. It suits me so much I really sometimes find it hard to understand why I have such a gift. Sure, we have our hectic times and I've had my share of overwhelming days. But making my own schedule sure helps me find time to defuse and to breathe...

I can rush and get things done in spurts. But I've gotta smell some flowers, watch some birds, notice the clouds, hear the ocean, enjoy some music, give some hugs. Such blessings. It helps me remember my Creator and all He has done. It renews my faith in the God who could create such wonders. And this is the God that is on the throne of my life holding the controls. I can trust Him. He settles me in peace.

"He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children." Psalm 113:9

Memorial Stone-The Older Help the Younger

We got an Anniversary Party invitation the other day to honor a couple who have been married for 60 years!! Unfortunately we are unable to attend but I want to send a letter just to share what they meant to us in our college years and early years of marriage. (For their privacy I am not sharing their names or faces. Instead I shared a picture of the church my husband and I were married in.)


My husband and I met in Bible College and this is where we met E. (husband) and P.(wife). They were entering retirement and wanted to spend it serving the Lord. So, they were fellow students of ours. :) We had a good number of older men and women in our Bible College. They really helped the rest of us who were young and immature.


Often, as young eager students trying to "get it right", our whole world would start to revolve around the next test score. The older students brought perspective to us. They reminded us that life is way more than a test score and a test score or class grade certainly doesn't define our ability to minister to others.


E. and P. both had laid back, relaxed personalities. They didn't get ruffled easily, I never saw them angry or upset. Their marriage relationship was the same. They were loving partners and it was obvious to everyone. They had been through LIFE together. They loved Jesus, they loved each other. They were friends. They smiled easily and a lot. 


Robin and I got married at the end of August, took one week for a honeymoon and then I was back in school and he was working. I was so exhausted that whole semester. One morning P. was in the lounge and I was just sharing that I couldn't understand what was wrong with me to be so tired. She said, "If you're a wife and you're not tired then you're doing something wrong!!" I thought, "Okay, I am not going to worry about it then! I'll just keep plugging along." And that defines what they did for us younger students. They kept us plugging along and kept us from quitting when it got hard.


Robin and I were really kinda poor financially. I found out later we could have been on food stamps and welfare for our income. We didn't ask for help, we just prayed (although my parents had committed before we married to pay for my college tuition so I could finish my degree). It was a faith building time for us! 


That first Christmas season, E. showed up at our door with a small, maybe 3 foot high Christmas tree. It was perfect!! We had a tiny apartment in downtown Portland, Maine and couldn't have fit anything bigger. I loved that tree! It was such a wonderful gift... :) You see, they owned a farm and sold Christmas trees. :) 


Another time, P. gave us a box of food from her church. It was a great blessing. Money was tight. Groceries were an issue. That help was so appreciated. 


They were just...*there*...you know? Quietly, lovingly... They didn't condemn, they just encouraged. They didn't comment on our lack of money or on our tiny kinda dumpy apartment in an unsafe neighbor. They were just friendly and encouraging. 


It's inspiring and an example of what my husband and I can be to others. 



"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
 Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us." Titus 2:3-8

It's Not Just Possible...

We graduated our first homeschool student/son on Saturday. It really felt like a full circle moment. I really couldn't stop thinking about all the homeschool years together, all the hopes and fears that can accompany such a journey! In the end, God brought us through and I try very hard not to be shocked that we did it! "With God all things are possible." 


Even though my spell checker is still telling me that "homeschool" is not a word, it is a very viable option!! 


Celebrating our graduate was a very joyful, blessed time and I am so thankful for it. I am still basking in the glow of it all! I've been a little speechless about it even. And I completely forgot to ask someone to use my camera to take pictures!! But I have a few...

Rachel made most of the cupcakes and frosted all of them!! I lost track of how many we made but I think it was just over 70!

My prayer for the celebration was that Tyler would feel very loved and supportive by those around him that night. I invited people that he knew and felt close to...people who had ministered to him over the years. There's no way I could invite everyone I wanted to; that's the hardest part about a party.

I feel like my prayer was answered. And I am very hopeful that the pictures will come in that others took but the memories are still there! :) 

I guess what I want to share most of all is that when God brings you to something that he wants you to do and you obey, that he provides! Over the years God has put in front of me the curriculum I needed (both financially and what we needed for my son's learning style), the people I needed to help me, the encouragement when I was down, the strength when I felt I had none. It wasn't all easy, but by God's grace it was entirely possible. God, as always, showed himself faithful. 

If I had to do it all over again, I definitely would. It was totally worth it. It was messy for sure...most things that are worth it, are... Yeah, I'd do it again... Most days I wish I could... :) 

Well, Did You Ask Him?

Do you know any prayer warriors? I remember back when I was dating my husband. A woman in my church (Maine) asked about my husband's sister (PA) who had had cancer years before. I told her that unfortunately, my husband's sister had passed away. This woman hadn't gotten the news. She said, "Oh dear! I am still praying for her!!" Then she pulled a small journal out of her purse and turned to the well worn page and quickly updated it. THAT is a prayer warrior!! She had been praying for someone she had never met for about 6 years!! 


I want to be a prayer warrior. I pray that God will make me a prayer warrior. I have a ways to go in learning to "faithfully pray." 


"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18


As a young child, I never had to learn to pray about everything. With the faith of a child, I knew God could do anything. I can remember praying to God to help me find items I had lost (I lost stuff ALOT!). I knew that God knew everything and knew where my lost item was.


That pattern of praying over everything followed me into adulthood. My feeling is that I pray over everything and then seek to trust God with the results. 


When I was in my early marriage years, I thought we needed an answer machine but we could not afford one. My husband was in the ministry and I thought it was important that people could leave a message for him since he was bi-vocational. I prayed over it and *out of the blue* a friend called me and said, "I am getting a new answering machine. I don't suppose you'd want my old one?" :) 


I would pray over everything. We couldn't afford curtains and such so I would pray. And curtains would come...I used to joke though that God always gave us what we needed but that He and I had different taste!! I didn't always love the color or style of what I was given but I was thankful for it!! 


I pray over my husband's job and ministries. I pray that God would "open doors that can't be closed by man and close doors that can't be opened by man." I have seen amazing things happen...


When I was in Bible College and going through a particularly stressful time, I had two exams scheduled in the same day. I wasn't ready and knew I couldn't GET ready in time. I prayed the Lord would take care of that somehow... One professor forgot the exam altogether and one professor's truck broke down on the way to school so he was not there in time to give the exam (oops). Yes, I did confess to him my prayer!! And he was good natured and we joked about it for some time!! (Other times I prayed over tests and such and the lesson was, "No how about you study?" ;) But the point is, I have learned to pray over *all things*). 


When someone in my family has a need or even a lost item, I try to be quick to say, "Have you prayed about it yet?" I want to set the pattern that we pray over everything, no matter how small or large.


"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7


Of course I have prayed over more important things: healing for terminal illnesses among loved ones, big emergencies, ministries, and other needs. The area where I would like to improve is having a more organized list and spending more time in prayer. Prayer is hard work!! 


The key to prayer is having the same heart as God. It's lining myself up to Him and His Truth so that we are *on the same page.* I need to be on *His page*. This is why I try to accept a "no" or a "wait" with acceptance. I understand that a "no" means that I am not on the same page as God and I trust Him to know and do what is best.


The key to prayer is also found in keeping short accounts with Him and asking Him to search my heart and being ready to repent of sin when He reveals my heart and it's intentions. 


"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23


God is so patient with me. But I pray He will create a prayer warrior out of me yet. What do you do when your prayer life isn't what you wish it to be? Pray about it!! :)


"Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake their ways and the unrighteous their thoughts. Let them turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on them, and to our God, for he will freely pardon." Isaiah 55:6-7

A Memorial Stone~When God Calls You Out

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21


Some years ago, my husband was a bi-vocational head pastor of a small country church. In many ways those were really tough years, especially for me. Our children were very young and my husband was a pastor and then working another job to meet our bills. I had a hard time having him gone so much between work and ministry. But we were doing it and God was growing the church. 


At a certain point we began sensing that God was calling us out of that ministry. In many ways, it didn't make sense. Why would LEAVING be a good thing? Weren't we suppose to be loyal and tough it out? We put out feelers for other ministries and there were no open doors. Now leaving really made no sense because, as a pastor, you're *suppose* to go right from one vocational ministry to the next, right?? Right?? So we stayed and prayed and grew more frustrated.


God in His grace, starved us out because He was calling us out and we weren't moving. Our provisions started to dry up. We never had extra money but previously we were making it, paycheck to paycheck. Now we were not making it, our bills were piling up and our credit was becoming damaged. Finally, we were at risk of losing our house. We knew now we had no choice but for my husband to move from part time work (outside his ministry) to full time work. His company told them they would take him full time whenever he was ready. The church offered to keep him and work with us but we really felt it would be best for them to search for a pastor who was perhaps older and not needing the provision that we did, therefore devoting more time to the ministry (which is exactly what God sent them and he is still there today!). 


It was very hard for my husband, but he stepped down as their pastor. I remember at that time a woman from church saying to me that she knew that as soon as my husband stepped down, that we would leave town. I told her that even if that was our desire that we could not financially consider moving. (In my head I was noting that our credit was a wreck and we were focusing on trying not to lose our little 750 sq. ft. house.)


I still sometimes shake my head in disbelief of what God did next... We decided to just investigate selling our home and moving (in some ways to *save it* by selling it). The market was moving fast and was a sellers market at the time. Within 6 months of my statement to the woman I mentioned above, we had sold our home, paid off all outstanding debts and moved into a house twice the size of the previous house closer to my husband's job and were well on our way to repairing our debt! ONLY GOD!


I learned so many lessons at that time. I learned that a *lack of provision* can be a great blessing. It can be the way God brings me into His will. I learned that God will go to great lengths so *keep* me in His will as I pray for Him to do just that. Knowing that has given me great comfort since that time when I have been searching out God's will. I know now that My Good Shepherd will lead as I ask and lay out my life to Him, *whether or not* I am aware of His leading at the time. He leads, I follow. Clinging to Him is how His will unfolds to me, one step at a time!


"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them." Isaiah 42:16


"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'" Isaiah 30:21

A Memorial Stone~Early Years of Marriage

My word for 2011 is "TRUST". I thought it would be valuable to think back on those times when we prayed and were able to see God working and moving in our life.

My husband and I were married in 1990. I was a full time Bible College Student. He had just graduated from Bible College. He got a job framing artwork and we found a little (really little actually!) apartment in downtown Portland, Maine. What he was making was barely minimum wage by today's standards. We were literally relying on God day by day for our meals and the covering of our meager bills.

Not long after we were married, my college contacted me and told me that my immunizations were behind. If I didn't get that updated, then I would have to leave school. I was only 3 semesters from graduating! We prayed. We had no money for me to go to the doctor.

That same week I came home after school and checked my mail and there was a check for $30.00 as a late wedding present from someone! We called a local health clinic to see what the price would be for the immunization I needed. They said it would cost $13.00. We were elated!!

Then the thought...we could go and buy a pizza for supper and still have enough for the clinic! But wait...since money was so tight we decided that getting the pizza would be irresponsible so we ate at home and then left for the clinic.

When we went to pay after the appointment the receptionist said, "That will be $28.00 please." WHAT?! Well, as it turned out, the IMMUNIZATION was $13.00 but there was an $15.00 base charge for every appointment! Boy were we glad we didn't get that pizza! God had provided just what we needed + $2.00. Maybe I should have calculated that gas that we used to drive there...I bet we would have found it came to $2.00!

God is so good! He provides just what we need.

"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:19