Saturday, July 16, 2011

When People Don't "Get It"~Letting It Be Okay

I home school. And many times people don't get it. They don't get why I would do such a thing or how I think I am qualified to do such a thing. They think my kids couldn't possibly be happy and that they silently wish they were in a "real school". They think my kids are at home all the time.

Recently I was told by someone that my kids "don't know any of the schooled kids" (as a reason why they are willing to hang out with their family) and that they of course prefer summer because they "don't see anyone throughout the school year." The situation wasn't one where I had time to really answer these statements and I didn't sense the person was really interested in knowing the truth so I let it go.

I got in the car and just spent a minute reminding myself that this is not who I will stand before to give an account at the end of my life (thank you James Dobson for those words years ago when I started this journey!), and that since God is gracious and glorious I don't need to fear man or prove myself to anyone (thank you Tim Chester and Pastor Barry who keeps preaching it to us!). 

When I was younger and challenged in my homeschooling I came out for the fight like a cornered animal. Not pretty. . .insecurity is rarely pretty. Armed with arguments learned from the book on homeschooling I was probably still reading, I would list why homeschooling was the ONLY way to go. As I grew in confidence over the years I could argue for homeschooling with the vigor of an attorney. Less pretty. 

Nowadays I try to discern when someone really has an honest question about homeschooling. Sincere or insincere, if they seem to really want to know I'll explain, hopefully patiently, hopefully full of grace. Nowadays I want people to do what God wants THEM to do, not what makes me look right. Ouch, that one hurt. . . I can only wish that others will give me that same grace. And if they don't, why that's okay. I've got nothing to prove and I've put down that ax I thought I needed to grind a long time ago. 

Don't we all have areas where we feel like others don't get it? Don't we all feel like we are swimming upstream in these areas when the world is swimming downstream? The key is that when you know you are on the path God chose for you, that you can take a hit over it without becoming angry or defensive or hurt. You have to know that you can explain yourself blue and your critics still may not get it, even if they wanted to get it. And it has to be okay. It has to not rob the peace you have in doing God's will. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6


  1. Karen, good post. I can relate in our general lifestyle choices.


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