Praying, Not Knowing

Our home in spring

We've been home for one month over a year. This house that used to hold 5, holds 8 and sometimes 9 of us. Our table seats 8. We have 1 shower. And we love to have friends over and we have one fellowship group and one Bible study that meets here. We currently homeschool and hold curriculum for 6 grade levels. Oh, and our car seats 7 so when we travel together we're in 2 cars. Sometimes life feels quite *tight*. 

*Tight* is not a bad thing, it can have great purpose and be a good thing. We learn to move over for others, we learn to take turns, we learn to get along (strife in a tight space es no bueno), to share a chair. We learn it's not all about us in every moment. 

But there are days when I am crying out for space! I dream of more closets, a school room and a guest room. I dream of a big reliable van! Dreams turn into prayers sometimes. 

Let me give you a peek into how I pray. You can judge if it is a good or bad, right or wrong as you weigh it against God's Word. When there is a need in my heart I come before God with it. I know He CAN do all things. I know He has promised to meet our needs. I know He promised me that if I made His children my own children, He would provide (Isaiah 58!). 

But see, here's the thing... God might prefer us right where we are. He might like to see me get rid of extra stuff, put up some more shelving, and save money for grander purposes. He might be asking us to live very lean so we can help others. OR, He might GIVE us a bigger house (or provide for an addition). Honestly, I don't know. Often I pray out of a LACK of knowledge, trusting the One Who knows all things. 

This is my practice: I pray for it ALL and let God provide what He will. Sometimes I am so sure of His Will that I drive headlong toward it whether the provision has yet appeared or not. Other times I am not so sure and let Him show me through provision or lack thereof. And about a bigger house, I am not so sure. This may or may not be the time to get a bigger car. Who knows? I admit, I don't. But I trust that God has good things planned and I don't want to miss HIS good things by rushing to MY good things. His are always better than mine. 

My style (right word?) of praying began when I was very young. I was always taught and believed that God is good, that He cares about the small insignificant details of my life, and that I could go to Him with my cares. I don't remember ever NOT believing this. There was a few years in my early 20's of misunderstanding God and it led to lots of regretful living. But overall in my life, I have BELIEVED in God's love for His children! I have met many over my life who have mistakenly thought that *asking* is selfish and honestly, I don't get that thinking. "...casting all your care on Him, because He cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7

As a side note, I found the Autobiography of George Muller for 99 cents on Amazon for the Kindle and I snatched it up! This man knew how to pray in faith believing! He saw great provision from God for his ministry to the orphaned, to other missionaries, and in the distribution of Bibles and Christian literature. I am excited of what I will learn from him as I read his experiences in his own words! Here it is if you are interested: The Autobiography of George Muller .

So I am praying...and I am making "closet makeover plans" and plotting what I can get rid of...not out of a lack of faith but so that I am ready for God's Will...whatever that is. 

"The earth and everything in it,
the world and its inhabitants,
belong to the Lord;
for He laid its foundation on the seas
and established it on the rivers.
Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord?
Who may stand in His holy place?
The one who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who has not set his mind on what is false,
and who has not sworn deceitfully.
He will receive blessing from the Lord,
and righteousness from the God of his salvation.
Such is the generation of those who seek Him,
who seek the face of the God of Jacob. Selah"
Psalm 24:1-6