It was a rough few days. Think of your own strong willed child (if you have more than one child, you have one), add not speaking the same language, add a history of being abandoned, add years in an orphanage (a good one, but still not a family), add being moved a month before your Papa arrived, add Papa coming and not Mama at first, add moving with no notice to Papa's house, add only knowing Mama for a month. There are moments we are both frustrated. The child, sitting on the bed deciding if obeying is a good idea, wondering if this "Mama" can be trusted to make the right decisions. Mama, sitting beside the bed wondering why "Little Bird" will not just do the simple thing asked, praying for wisdom and knowing no other way than to sit and wait for obedience...
While untangling and untangling, I could not help but notice the symbol..."Little Bird" didn't ask for this hair so hard to keep untangled, didn't ask for this life which was tangled at birth... It took a long time to get tangled, it takes a long time to UNtangle. I can untangle her hair, but only God can untangle her heart. I pray and wait and in this moment I am glad she is occupied with a movie so she doesn't see my tears...
I pray to be a vessel of God's healing, I pray for wisdom, and mostly I pray for "Little Bird." I pray she'll learn to trust that I only want the best for her, that I love her, that I would die for her. I pray she'll learn to trust her Heavenly Father, that He wants the best for her, that He loves her, that He already died for her...
And I remember...
That God is still untangling my heart, still waiting while I decide if I should obey, if I trust God that He wants only the best for me, that He loves me, that He died for me...
"Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God."
Psalm 42:11
sweet thoughts.
ReplyDelete