Complaints

I hit a point of weakness this week where I was sorely tempted to write to a friend or two and pour out my complaints and weaknesses and struggles. It would have been those who know me well enough to 1. listen, and 2. point me to Jesus. But I felt a check in my heart to pour out my complaint to God and refrain from hitting the "send" button. And I am tempted right now to list all the things that are trying to weigh me down. Last night I told my husband that I have forgotten what the joy of the Lord is suppose to look like and feel like. I know my theology definitions but living out my theology is a whole 'nother matter!

I saw a friend post on Facebook this morning about God giving us more than we can handle and then helping us handle it (paraphrase). That's totally the point. God's given me more than I can handle right now. Yesterday I just felt so "under it". I went to bed thinking, "Okay well THAT didn't work!" This morning I am ready to get with God and get it figured out. This is a moment my moment activity, not a once-for-the-day-gee-that-was-great-now-I'm-fine-hey-thanks kind of thing. It's living life on my face before God. 

Every time I think I have it figured out and will be fine-from-here-on-out-thanks, I land square on my butt. Maybe the good news is, here in Nicaragua I get to the end of myself a lot quicker than when I am in the United States surrounded by my *life* and my *conveniences*. 

Psalm 142

I cry aloud to the Lord;
I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy

I pour out before him my complaint;
before him I tell my trouble.When my spirit grows faint within me,
it is you who watch over my way.
In the path where I walk
people have hidden a snare for me.
Look and see, there is no one at my right hand;
no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
no one cares for my life.I cry to you, Lord;
I say, “You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living.”Listen to my cry,
for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
for they are too strong for me.
Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
because of your goodness to me.