Monday, July 9, 2012

In the Middle there are Kids

It's no secret that there are big challenges in the adoption world. We tend to associate these with international adoption but there are deep trials involved with every adoption story.

It's easy to get lost in the swirl of endless expenses, piles of paperwork, translations to the language of origin, endless authentications... Then there's rules and obstacles that don't make sense. In the frustration, you may not realize you are stepping into their world of injustice, lack of control and lack of choice. The obstacles stop good parents from adopting. As a friend said to me recently, "Many others would adopt but they don't have the stamina for the process." It's true. 

But in the middle are the children. They don't know how much it costs to adopt. They don't know about the endless piles of paperwork and rules and laws that inhibit. They don't understand about home studies and home visits. 

They only know the loss and abandonment that comes with losing their parents. They know loneliness. They know other kids have mommies and daddies and they don't. 

They don't know why no one comes for them. They don't know why people tend to adopt babies. They don't know why they can't be adopted into the same family as their brothers and sisters. They don't know costs, and paperwork, and home visits. They only see that no one comes for them.

Theirs is a world of ever changing foster homes, orphanages, care givers. Theirs is a world of loving and losing and losing again...with no explanation or explanations that don't make sense. They don't visit the world of "why?", they LIVE in it. 

When we adopt we step into that world. We feel things taken away, we feel loss, others control the process. It is a taste of what they go through every moment of every day. We step into it to take them out. As hard as it is it is nothing compared to their world where everything feels gone... 

We long to bring hope and love and security and peace. We don't understand the wait. We CAN give up before we start. Or we can stand and fight and not give up. 

We can choose not to give up so that another child (or 4) know someone is not leaving, someone will love, someone will kiss them goodnight, someone will hold them when memories flood them, someone will stand with them and not give up or give in...someone will speak up for them, pray for them, speak truth and hope to them...someone cares, someone will fight for them...

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy." Proverbs 31:8-9

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