Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Wasted Energy Worrying...
I trust God. I mean, I really trust God! But often I find my body filled with anxiety even though my mind is screaming, "Stop worrying!! God's got this!!" Stubbornly, my nervous stomach yells back, "Are you crazy? We're doomed!!!"
Next week, my husband heads to Nicaragua. He'll visit our kids and the process of having them with us will officially start. I'll join him later when our 171H is in and our house is closed down.
I've been stressed about where he would stay, accessing money, the potential of him having the kids full time before I am there and getting his work done, and, and , and... Then there are those daily obstacles that pop up concerning paperwork and money, and such...
I know God has called us to this and therefore will work out the details. And yet I get fearful and stressed.
I've been thinking about and understanding so much more the father whose son was possessed by a spirit. He said to Jesus when requesting healing, "I believe! Help me in my unbelief!!" Oh how I can join in on that request! I DO believe! Help me in my unbelief!
I've been praying like crazy that God will help me to walk by faith, even blind faith. I want to trust him wholly and not worry.
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?" Luke 12:25-26
As the time to leave draws nearer, my cloudy vision starts to clear and I can see God working out the details. I can't help but notice how much energy I wasted worrying, how much sleep I've lost. I pray I will learn to trust him BEFORE I see the details work out and before my vision clears!!
My vision, my strength, my abilities are so limited. God is UNlimited in every respect.
I believe!!!!! Help me in my unbelief!!!!!!