A lack of peace brings frustration, anger and depression. I start looking around for something to blame: people, hard situations, a messy house, laundry piles, traffic, money, chaos... But the TRUTH is I am not sitting in God's presence. I am not listening to Him, I am not talking to Him. I am just doing...and doing...and doing...until I've got nothin' left and I am sitting in anger and frustration.
"But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
Oh, how I am catching myself living on the strength of a past day! It doesn't work. The signs were building: the frustration, the feeling of live being too overwhelming, the desire to hide from people, the lack of energy, the short fuse...
for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23
The Lord's presence brings peace and His peace is so sweet. How it calms me, how it stops me from hearing my own heartbeat in my ears! Suddenly what seemed impossible is remarkably doable. As the song says, "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord." As a faithful friend shared recently, "If strength isn't rising I'm not waiting on the Lord!"
I don't always get it right. But I am learning, learning to run to God faster, acknowledging the need to repent and turn to Jesus and find His peace.
I'm learning not to let tough circumstances get rooted deeply but to be rooted in Christ. I am learning not to let the emotions and meltdowns of others around me steal my peace with their peace that has already flown. I can only hold ONTO Jesus and hold OUT hope in Jesus to the struggling one. Recently during a little one's tough meltdown I started singing...loudly about Jesus to God...with all I had, meaning every word. I don't know if it helped the little one...except for the benefit that mom was keeping her peace and her patience. It sure doesn't help if we both spiral downward!
Life is challenging and often uncomfortable. Honestly I have no desire to live without God's peace. Thus the title of my blog! I long to gather the peace of God. I don't need a night out or a vacation. Honestly, I don't. I just need MORE...more JESUS. :)