Thursday, December 23, 2010
My Crazy Mixed Up Heart
When I was young, I wanted to be a wife and mom. When people said, "What do you want to be when you grow up?", saying wife and mom was not the response they seemed to want to hear. Now here I am years (and years...lol) later and my children are starting to grow up one by one. We'll be launching our first arrow very soon.
I love my kids. No, I mean I REALLY love my kids!!! I love to spend time with them. We can laugh so hard together, talk about serious things, make each other sad and angry and joyful sometimes all in the same hour... I've been pondering the whole "growing and going" thing. I really can't imagine my life when they are not with me 24/7.
Yesterday, I caught myself wishing I could start all over when they were babies and do it all over again. Yes, there were hard times. But overall, I have loved each and every stage of their life. So then I thought, "what if I got my wish?" I'd miss their teen years (and honestly I am loving this stage too) and I'd miss seeing what God is going to do in their adult life.
Going back means missing out...missing out on watching God work in and through them as they enter adulthood and beyond. I just know God will do great things. I don't want to miss a minute of it!! So it's settled. I'll move forward thankfully. I'll cherish every second I have to spend with them. I'll look forward to enjoying them now and in the future. God has plans for them. He has plans for me too...
"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Proverbs 31:25