A Peek into My Mind!

Yesterday, Rachel and Christian and I enjoyed an afternoon at the beach. The weather was just PERFECT! I let them grab an ice cream from "Cold Stone" on the way home. Rachel, my dairy free girl, took a Lactaid and had her first ice cream in (I think) at LEAST a year. "Mine tastes kind of like yogurt," she said. "No dear, it's just been so long you don't remember!" ;) Meanwhile, my Nicaraguan kids got to go to Pizza Hut and play on an indoor play set there with their Papa and best bud/driver, Fruto.


Did you notice I am writing more often? Yeah, well, my husband is in Nicaragua (read...less conversation) so you get the benefit of me dumping my mind and words somewhere...blog therapy...


A warning...my mind is all over the place...this post will be too.


~Adoption Update: I am trudging through the remainder of the paperwork. We didn't get to prepare our dossier (hunk o' completed paperwork in one lump), all nice and neat, like you are supposed to. One of us was needed in Nicaragua and they said, "Bring what's done and fed ex the rest later" so that's what we did. Now it's "clean it up" time. 


~Finger print update: Hubby gets to take a little side trip to Houston, TX to get his finger prints done. Even armed with the "right words" given to him by someone at the USCIS, the U.S. Embassy in Managua said, "Um, sorry, no." So, he plans to (Lord willing) fly into Houston one morning, get those fingerprints, and fly out later in the same day. No, we're not rich though it looks like we are living that way. But God provides when He asks His children to do something and we gather our manna every day!


~Our 4 sweeties: Family is built piece by piece. They are all between 5 years old and 9 years old. There is no catching up. There is no starting fresh. There is history; a history we were not able to be part of . One lesson I learned from Nehemiah...before you can re-build you must first clear the rubble. When you birth a child, you immediately begin to build. When you adopt, there is some "rebuilding" that must occur. But there are reasons not to trust, reasons to question and wonder, there are past hurts. There is rubble. 


"Meanwhile, the people in Judah said, 'The strength of the laborers is giving out, and there is so much rubble that we cannot rebuild the wall.'" ~Nehemiah 4:10


Only God has the power to "make all things new". We wait upon Him and ask to be His vessel of healing and clearing rubble and building.


~These kids are trying! You want to see determination and resilience? I've got 4 kids for you to meet. They continue to smile and laugh, to play, to love, to test the waters of "trust." By faith, they write their names on paper and carefully follow their first name with T.w.o.m.b.l.y. It makes me cry every time I think of it. Oh, how I love them!


~I can't wait for the day we are together as a family! The desire multiplies with every Skype, with every story I hear of them when I talk to my husband at the end of each day! It's at its peak when I hear of one of the children having a tough moment. My mama-love goes in hyper drive!! But I know this is God's plan. God has His reasons to have daddy go first and for them to bond with him first. God, who created these sweet babies, knows what is needed. I remind myself of this daily, sometimes moment by moment. Once down there I will be counting the days until Tyler can visit us and we can TRULY be together as a family.


~I am learning so much about what God did for me. I was adopted by my Heavenly Father, grafted in. As I will step into these children's lives and culture, so Jesus stepped into mine. He walked our roads, ate our food, lived and loved AMONG us. He identified with us and showed us He understands how it feels to be "us". As I am separated from my children and am preparing a place for them here, I can understand how Jesus is separated from me while He prepares a home for me. As I move through this adoption, I hear God whisper: "I did this for you, remember..." And I understand Him more, and love Him more...


"And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am." ~John 14:3

Reunion. It's coming, the earthly one and the Heavenly one. It keeps me going!  :)